I miss a year ago so much.
That was a pretty crap time back then for me
but I'd rather it than now.
Everything didn't fall apart until this year really,
I failed year 11
disappointed so many people.
I got hurt badly by someone I cared about a lot.
My best friend went experienced something so tragic I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
I lost one of my best friends in a way,
and disappointed another deeply.
I wasted a lot of time drinking and doing so many things I regret.
Now that I look back I see how much of a fucking fail this past year has been.
I just want to go back to last year,
when I was this innocent kid who didn't know anything hardly.
I have this awful feeling everything is going to downhill from here though..
Christmas sucked as always.
I was negative about it didn't give a fuck.
I got so drunk Christmas night it was disgusting, I've never been that bad in my life. I Threw up everywhere had to be carried home practically, and put to bed.
Not a good look for a female.
I disappointed myself more than anyone.
I have this awful feeling everything is going to downhill from here though..
but I wont let that happen.
I'm really gonna try to change for the better next year.
and actually do it
I really want to change who I am.
The year wasn't completely awful though.
I had some fun times I'll never forget.
I got my first tattoo, that I don't regret because
I feel strongly about Amity, They make me feel better, when I'm down
just by listening to them, It's really indescribable how they make me feel.
and in years when I look back, I'll see how much they meant to me and how happy i felt, I don't think I'll regret that.
Also i made some of the best friends this year who mean alot to me.
I always have the best fun hanging out with them, they've made things happier for me.
They know who they are :)
But I miss my old friends a lot too. The ones that have been there for me.
I promise I'll catch up with you more,
and make up for my shitty friendship of late.
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